Les Meubles

So, I have new living room furniture, which of course means I MUST paint the walls,
and get a new scarlet rug,
and rearrange the art,
and maybe colour-block the art,
and get new end tables,
and lamps and stuff.
Maybe even some chachkas and thingies!

I was thrilled when the new love seats and chair arrived, but quite upset when I realized the current paint colours matched them just fine, thank you very much. Being female, I did not find this terribly helpful. Obviously I cannot appeal to my cadre of worker bees with a suitably helpless expression, saying "oh, this is horrid, look, nothing matches!~ Can you help me paint?" So what to do?

Then it occurs to me that I have once again forgotten the fundamental difference between men and women. Women coordinate, and men procreate. Forgive me for being simplistic, and allow me to elaborate.

Basically, in my varied roamings of this Great World, I have come to realize that women over think just about everything, for example, we are never, and I mean never direct, so if you are a gentleman, please learn the language, we don't intend to change. It's an estrogen thing. We also ascribe convoluted motives to the simplest statements men make - for example, if a gent says:

"Do you mind if I change the channel"

He may *hear* - "no, by all means go ahead". What is more likely meant is: "Sure, go ahead; drive me bonkers with 3 second snippets of 30 stations while you assert your male dominance with your phallically symbolic remote control - and buddy, I ain't TOUCHING your remote control later!"

Which brings me back to my original conundrum. Today I will borrow a page from the "man's dictionary", and simply say, I want this room painted. I want it painted by Thursday please, and I'll provide the beer.

But I don't intend to change, and you can't make me !